He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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