they need to just BURY HIM!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
