No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You made out with two different species that night
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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