Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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