Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
