Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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