just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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