moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
