You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize