yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
