It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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