If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
NoShamevember. You game?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
