the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I understand Curling. That high.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
