I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
