just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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