I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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