Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
