They should really pass out barf bags in church
Fuck appropriateness.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
