idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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