at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
