If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
