u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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