Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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