I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
