So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
