and you said cock pushups were impossible
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize