Quick, to the slutcave!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
NoShamevember. You game?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
