you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
