Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
