i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
