Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
