hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
