Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
