I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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