Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
