:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
