Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
