i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
