i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
