The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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