All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
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