Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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