You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize