frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
