I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
