y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
