I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
