it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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