So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
