i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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