i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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