It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
