Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
