i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
