I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
