I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
