i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
