Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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