Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
