I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
