Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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