Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
