I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
