i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
