Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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