it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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