It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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