i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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