Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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