Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
