If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize