There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
