your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
