so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
