He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
