he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
