What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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